


Clamber

by Cloudnine101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Apocalypse, Courage, Demon Dean Winchester, Hell, Love, M/M, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2790302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cloudnine101/pseuds/Cloudnine101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'For all Dean knows, he could be being led round in circles - not that he'd mind. Spending an eternity following Castiel's voice wouldn't be too bad a thing; and really, up top seems so far off anyway - a dream, an idea, a fantasy. Too long ago, he hadn't known it was real. Too long.<br/>And then Castiel had made him remember.<br/>He's been running for a long time, now. Too long.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clamber

It's dark - different from before. Dark. Quiet. Cloying. Dark. Different. Another layer? He doesn't wait around to find out.

"Cas, where are we?"

"Getting closer," comes the reply - he can't see where from. He never can, anymore.

"Right. Which way?"

"Left."

How the fuck does Cas even know this shit? For all Dean knows, he could be being led round in circles - not that he'd mind. Spending an eternity following Castiel's voice wouldn't be too bad a thing; and really, up top seems so far off anyway - a dream, an idea, a fantasy. Too long ago, he hadn't known it was real. Too long.

And then Castiel had made him remember.

He's been running for a long time, now. Too long. 

Dean goes left. … It's getting claustrophobic. Every step Dean takes, another weight presses down on his heart, smothering him.

"How much further?" There is no reply. "C'mon, Cas, it's getting stuffy down here. At least give me a number, damn it!" 

Silence.

He slams his fist against a wall, drawing blood. It's black, and satisfying. It takes away from the heat. "Alright, alright, I'm sorry. Come on out, angel man, and I'll be nice. Promise." There's a flutter of wings. Dean grins. "Took you long enough."

"I was busy."

"Doing what, exactly? By now, Dean knows it's pointless asking. "You'd better make it worth my while. I was getting worried."

"I brought pie."

Light sparkles behind Dean's hollow eyes.

"And this is why I keep you around."

 

…

 

Dean runs into another demon within - within - well, it doesn't take long. Time is fragmented - it slips and slides away, he's found. There's no way of knowing. He wouldn't want to be sure, anyway. Uncertainty is better. The thing doesn't get a word out, before Dean's buried his dagger in its chest. There's a buzz in his body, rippling round, and it feels fantastic. Like ice, cooling him. Magic. Blood leaks out, over his hands. He doesn't care. Magic.

"You saw that, right?"

"Of course." Dean shoots a beaming smile upwards.

"Keep walking." And if there's an undertone to those words, Dean ignores it - because man, did that feel good. He's hopping, fizzing with energy - he can see everything, for once. He practically skips down the next three corridors.

 

…

 

Wiping the pie crumbs from his lips, Dean tosses the box onto the ground. It clatters down, bouncing who knows where. It hardly matters. It's not real, anyhow.

"Thanks, Cas. That was good."

"Don't mention it." Dean leans back against the wall, listening to the drip-drip-drip of water, somewhere far away.

"Tell me something."

"What?"

"Anything." He can almost hear Castiel smile. Almost.

"Where I am, you can see for miles."

"See what?" Dean is interested; he closes his eyes.

"Everything."

"Description."

"Sunlight." The angel's voice is soft; reverent. And that's enough.

"I'd forgotten about that."

 

…

 

"Night, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean. Sleep well."

Dean closes his eyes, lip quirking. It feels good, to have someone care. It doesn't happen often. "I miss Sammy."

"I know." Dean shifts, taking a gulp of stale air.

"Where do you think he is?"

"He's alive." Dean chooses to believe it.

 

…

 

Being a demon, Dean knows a lot about Hell. He knows all of its nooks and crannies; all of the secret spaces, where a man (or what used to be a man) can hide. How to leave, however, is another matter entirely.

"Where are we, Cas?"

"Closer."

Dean snorts. "More detail."

"Closer than we were yesterday."

Dean finds himself laughing.

 

…

 

The next day, Lucifer tracks him down. He knows it instantly; from Castiel's intake of breath, from the way his heartbeat increases, from the shaking of the walls. Dean clings to a rock, as the ground rolls beneath him. "What's going on?" he yells, although he already knows the answer.

"I'm sorry," the angel says, "I'm sorry. I'll come and find you. As soon as I have my strength returned, I will find you." And Dean knows what he wants to reply - that there's no grace left for him to find, that he shouldn't leave the human world, that he needs to keep himself safe - that angels may not die, but humans do - that it's over, and the angels are gone, and they've failed.

Instead, he clings to the stone wall, and says: "You promise?"

"I swear." Dean nods, holding on tighter as the walls lurch. "Dean-"

"I might see Sammy again. He'll be around, won't he?"

"Dean-" Red light spills into the corridor, from its end - and Dean would try to run, even now, except for the fact that the world's rocking from side to side.

"I think we could've been good together, Cas. I think we could've been real good." The red light grows brighter; closer. It sears his back.

"I think so, too," Castiel says, and pauses. "Dean, I think-"

Dean turns around.

 

…

 

Dean knows what heroism is. When Sam asked, he laughed it off: "Well, it's you and me, ain't it? Saving the world, kicking demon ass...all the good stuff, little brother." And he'd left it at that, still laughing, keeping up the pretence. Deep down, he was screaming; because he knew precisely what the word meant...who it meant. And he does.

He does. He does.

 

…

Dean wakes in a cold room, in the dark.

"Castiel?" he says. "Are you there?"

He isn't.

 

…

 

I LOVE YOU

 

It's on the wall of Dean's room, in a messy scrawl; he can't remember writing it. Then again, he can't remember a lot of things. Sometimes, he can't remember who he is.

 

…

 

I LOVE YOU

 

It's repeated, over and over again; just in case he forgets, forgets, forgets. It's dark in there; as if someone forgot to turn on the lights, or even install them in the first place. Dean doesn't know if there are any. He's never looked.

 

…

 

COME BACK

 

He didn't know they'd have pens in Purgatory. He hadn't thought about it, until he was actually in the room, without a door or a lock or a key. But there are pens - or, rather, one pen. Then again, it could just be a branch - in the dark, it's hard to tell. For all he knows, he could be writing nothing.

 

…

 

I MISS YOU

 

He wishes he has back in the forest - at least there, there were others. The silence is eating away at him - so he writes, and he waits, and he bleeds (he thinks - the blackness, the blackness, it burns).

 

…

 

COME HOME

 

Once, Dean tries to draw a pie. It looks like a duck. It makes him laugh.

"Aww, shit! Sammy! Come take a look at this!"

But there is no Sam, and there is no one.

 

…

 

I THINK THIS IS THE END

 

"Why aren't you coming, Cas? Your war too important, huh? It's done! We're done! We lost! Don't I matter? Don't I?"

He screams out the words, but there's no reply.

 

…

 

I THINK I'M DONE FOR

 

"C'mon, Cas, I've said I'm sorry. What more do you want?" He's defeated, body curled, head between his knees. "I just wanna see you. I just wanna see you, and Sammy, and Bobby. I just wanna go home, Cas. Home. Is that too much to ask?"

 

…

 

IT'S OVER

 

And it is - because he's trapped, and this time, there's no one to save him. And it hurts. It does.

(It does. It does. It does.)

 

…

 

I LOVE YOU

 

He leans back against the wall, head craned upwards, wiping his eyes (damn tears, they just keep on falling).

"Bye, Cas. Tell Sam I'm sorry, OK?"

 

…

 

I LOVE YOU

 

…

 

"I love you."

Dean's alone. 

And then, suddenly, he's not. 

 

…

 

"I love you, too."


End file.
